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-   -   Love With A Whore (http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=29218)

acetronic 2004-05-14 11:54 PM

Love With A Whore
 
LOVE WITH A WHORE

BY CARL
[email protected]

WHEN I FIRST SAW HER IN THE STORE,

SHE WAS SITTING ON A BENCH NEAR THE WALL.

SHE LOOKED NICE AND TALL,

BUT HER SKIRT WAS SHORT AND SMALL.

I LOOKED IN HER EYES AND TRIED TO HAVE A TALK:

'YOU ARE A BAD GIRL,

AS YU HAVE NOTHING ON UNDER YUR SKIRT.'

'NO', SHE RETORTED, 'I'M NOT A BAD GIRL

BUT A GOOD WHORE!'



LATER SHE TOOK ME HOME, WHILE IN THE HALL

I PUSHED HER LEANING ON THE WALL,

AND SAID THAT I WOULD MARRY HER IN THE FALL.

SHE TOOK OFF HER SHIRT AND SKIRT.

I PUT HER HANDS ON THE WALL,

AND BEGAN TO KISS HER.

I WAS VERY NERVOUS AND COULDN'T BE EXCITED ANY MORE.

'YEAH!' I EXCLAIMED, 'YOU ARE NOT A BAD GIRL

BUT A GOOD WHORE!'



ONE DAY I FOUND THAT I REALLY MISSED HER,

SO I DIRECTLY WENT TO HER HOUSE ON THE SHORE.

WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR,

A MAN WAS FUCKING HER ON THE FLOOR.

SHE WAS MOANING AS SUFFERING FROM A STORM.

I COULDN'T BEAR THIS ANY MORE,

TURNED BACK AND SHUT THE DOOR.

'OH!' I MUTTERED, 'SHE WAS NOT A BAD GIRL

BUT A GOOD WHORE!'



SEVERAL DAYS PAST SHE GIVED ME A CALL:

'PLEASE DON'T CARE THAT AT ALL,

IT'S NOTHING BUT MY WORK!'

'YES!' I WHISTLED, 'SHE IS NOT A BAD GIRL

BUT A GOOD WHORE!'

AND I HAVE TO LEAVE HER,

BECAUSE MY HEART CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE!

AND I HAVE TO LEAVE HER,

BECAUSE MY HEART CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE!

Vollstrecker 2004-05-15 12:11 AM

This should've been posted in Literature...

Sovereign 2004-05-15 12:38 AM

WHy, vollstrecker, what art thou talking about ;)

Raziel 2004-05-15 01:05 AM

This reminds me of a poem written by a bored, foul-minded 7th grader in his remedial english class. The topic is pre-pubescent at best, the wording is obtuse and vulgar and your use of the Caps Lock button is an eyesore. If you want to recieve some sort of praise for your work, try pulling your mind out of the vulgar doldrum it's currently mired in and try writing something with honest value or meaning. This is tripe, and no amount of constructive criticism is going to make it any better.

Neko 2004-05-15 09:43 PM

I think that not only the subject is stupid and juvenile, but the poem's structure is pretty horrible too. There's nothing inspiring at all about the entire thing.

Vollstrecker 2004-05-15 10:11 PM

The literature forum was the only thing I could think of, besides the trashcan. ;)

It certainly didn't belong in Forum Discussion.

Raziel 2004-05-16 02:53 AM

It doesn't belong on this plane of existence. The Internet Gods need to banish it to Xanga, where that sort of idiocy is commonplace.

Vollstrecker 2004-05-16 11:40 AM

It wasn't my call. :D

Tyrannicide 2004-05-16 01:14 PM

Tis ur call now.


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