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-   -   You care what others think about you. (http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=46497)

-Spector- 2008-08-13 08:20 PM

You care what others think about you.
 
I got into an argument with a girl over whether or not she cared what others thought about her. She swore that she didn't care at all.

How about you guys?

Do you care what others think about you?

Do you think everyone cares what others think about them?


This is a bit long, but interesting none-the-less:

Here is a section from our conversation on AIM:

(I'm ChicNStu012 if you didn't pick that up)





Quote:

Originally Posted by AIM
ChicNStu012: You lied.

ChicNStu012: In one of your bulletins

Ashley: ?

ChicNStu012: the question was

ChicNStu012: "Do you care about what others think of you?"

ChicNStu012: And you put "No"

ChicNStu012: Which is complete bullshit

Ashley: ?

Ashley: how?

Ashley: lol

ChicNStu012: Now, I understand. Everyone has to put No, otherwise you look like a jackass. If you put, "Yes, I worry about what people think of me zomg!!!" everyone would just be like wow, what a faggot.

Ashley: i seriously dont care what people think of me

ChicNStu012: If that was true, then

ChicNStu012: The whole "Self-conscious" variable would not be in your mind.

Ashley: SELF conscious

ChicNStu012: Exactly

Ashley: as in I dont like how i look

Ashley: idfc what other people feel about how i look

ChicNStu012: wrong-o

ChicNStu012: I'll explain in a scenario

Ashley: okay

Ashley: but you arent going to win this one

Ashley: :P

ChicNStu012: We'll see.

Ashley: kay

Ashley: lol

ChicNStu012: Okay, you are the only person living on earth. You never met any humans in the past, and you never meet any in the future. You would not care what you looked like for several reasons. But what I just said there should be enough fact.

Ashley: no

Ashley: lol

Ashley: not trueee

Ashley: if im fat, im going to care whether ive never seen another person or not

ChicNStu012: bullshit. You wouldn't know you WERE fat. You wouldn't know what FAT is. You wouldn't know how big an "Average" person would be, because YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON

Ashley: but that changes everything

ChicNStu012: Oh?

ChicNStu012: Why is this

Ashley: because

Ashley: if i dont know what a fat person looks like, i could still make my own opinion about it

Ashley: but since i have seen skinnier people

Ashley: i seem fat

ChicNStu012: There you go, you proved my point right there

Ashley: im so confused now

ChicNStu012: Ashley: but since i have seen skinnier people
Ashley: i seem fat

So, with what you just said. The only reason why someone would be "afraid" (aka self-conscious) of what their body looked like, is if they had seen someone else's body, and they thought it looked better than their own.

Ashley: i still think i could think i was fat even if i never saw someone else


ChicNStu012: How about this... If you are trying to date someone, you don't go up and talk to them or go on a date with them looking like shit. You clean up a bit and make sure you look as good as you can. You definitely care what they think about you.

Ashley: whateverrrr

Ashley: i care what i think about me

ChicNStu012: Okay fine, last try.. imagine this:

ChicNStu012: There is another planet, almost identical to this one. Basically it's a clone of earth but there is one difference. People perceive fatness as extremely attractive. If that was the case, if you were skinny, then you would be "uncomfortable with yourself" so you would eat to gain weight until you were quite plump. (rofl) then as you got more fat, the more uncomfortable with yourself you became.

ChicNStu012: It's all based on culture. The culture we live in decided that being fat is gross. If they had never decided that, then you wouldn't think twice if you were overweight.

Ashley: well fuck culture

Ashley: lol

ChicNStu012: haha

ChicNStu012: I agree

Ashley: you think too much. :P


Sorry this is so long, one more thing I found interesting:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ashley
if i dont know what a fat person looks like, i could still make my own opinion about it


ChicNStu012: Okay, if you have no idea what something looks like (In this example someone who is fat.) You cannot make an opinion on what the object MAY look like. That would be like you saying, "In my opinion, the Notre Dame Cathedral in France is extremely ugly and smells like rotten fish."

ChicNStu012: Being that you've never seen or entered that Cathedral in your life, how could you form an opinion?

Ashley: it might not be right

Ashley: but you could still make one

ChicNStu012: That wouldn't be an opinion though, that would be you imagining what it might be like. ;)

WetWired 2008-08-13 09:08 PM

Sane society is based upon caring, to one degree or another, what others think of you.

Draco2003 2008-08-13 09:45 PM

I understand your analogy, but I have to side with her... I am in the same boat, I don't care what others think of me, only what I think of me. Although, my thoughts that I don't look good aren't based on what anyone thinks looks good, it is what I feel looks good. As WetWired pointed out though, you have to care what others think of you, because that is the only way you will thrive in society at a low level. From getting a job to finding a mate, other people's views come into play that you have to take into account. Once you become Bruce Wayne, then by all means run around naked screaming and hollering, because you have the money to not need the opinions of others.

I guess it can be broken down into a simple "Money = Other people's perceptions + How far you bend to them"

-Spector- 2008-08-13 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Draco2003 (Post 646894)
I don't care what others think of me, only what I think of me. Although, my thoughts that I don't look good aren't based on what anyone thinks looks good, it is what I feel looks good.

You were invited to a Halloween party. The host tells you to dress up like the most hideous creature ever in existence. You show up at the party in this disgusting looking costume that you are comfortably wearing, only to realize the joke is on you, and nobody else is dressed up. The most influential people you know are there, and they begin to make fun of you. Pretty soon the entire party is laughing at you.

Even though you felt comfortable in the costume, would you feel comfortable in it after everyone was making fun of you? If you decided to stay, would you take the costume off?


You have a job interview for a very professional company. You wear dress pants and a collared shirt to impress your employer. You also comb your hair to the side and keep a smile on.

Does this not mean that you are worried about what your employer thinks of you? You would want to impress him with your physical appearance (For a first impression) to increase your chances of getting the job.

Draco2003 2008-08-13 10:40 PM

In regards to the Halloween party, I just plain wouldn't go, but I won't be a poor sport.

In all honesty, if it was the best costume, I would continue to wear it, or a majority of it. I would have to take the mask and gloves off if those are involved.

It's funny you bring up these 2 scenarios, because my parents throw a Halloween party every year, and I don't dress up if I am not going to be comfortable with my costume. One time I was Snoop Dogg, I was painted black from head to toe, wore a do-rag, even bought a weighted gun just to have that feel as it was tucked in my belt. Almost everyone I came across thought I was really black.

And the dressing up for the job thing, I am doing that just now. I spent 120 bucks on a new dress belt, 2 shirts and 2 pairs of khakis that I will NEVER wear again, but the training part required "business casual". I did state that there are times when you must bend to the perceptions of others, or else you will go through life as a hobo.


EDIT: The weighted gun was a pellet gun, not a real one. But it almost weighed as much as a real gun.

EDIT 2: I also wanted to have cornrows to complete the look, but I didn't get them... I stayed dressed up though, because it was a bitch to wash all the coloring off...

Kazilla 2008-08-14 11:42 AM

everyone cares what people say about them. you can't meet a person that doesnt. and if anyone posts here saying they dont is completely lying. Everyone can be broken down given enough critism about their look, speak, personality, attitude, lack there of. Some of us get alot more critism then others, so that those who dont recieve much feel like they dont care what people think.

Willkillforfood 2008-08-14 12:08 PM

Do you goto a job interview wearing the most god awful clothing combinations? I doubt it. Caring what an employer thinks of you is being self-conscious imo.

Kazilla 2008-08-14 12:12 PM

i think its more because people know if they looked like crap they wouldnt get the job, the employer sets that standard you just have to follow it. If more employers cared less that you wore slacks and a button up, and more about how you reacted to questions and how you held yourself durring hte interview, more people would wear clothes that make them feel comfortable.

kyeruu 2008-08-14 12:26 PM

(out of subject) you fucking owned her :D
(back to subject)

Honestly, I would care on the situation.

For example, if i'm hangin' around a few friends of mine, then i wouldn't really care, since they wouldn't judge me on looks.

Ofcourse if a person which i have no idea who he/she is (preferably a chick) sees me in a badly dressed form (or looks) i'd be uncomfortable.
Basically i'd care about what people think about me, IF i'm being judged by them in a negative way towards how i look.

Completely biased.

Wallow 2008-08-14 06:21 PM

Only individuals that feel strongly about themselves do not truly care what other people think. These people are rare indeed, because to be successful in life, one must have a mix of not caring about others' opinions (who do not matter in life), but yet dressing to an extent (for example) as to give others good first impressions. A complicated subject express.

Kazilla 2008-08-14 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wallow (Post 646987)
Only individuals that feel strongly about themselves do not truly care what other people think. These people are rare indeed, because to be successful in life, one must have a mix of not caring about others' opinions (who do not matter in life), but yet dressing to an extent (for example) as to give others good first impressions. A complicated subject express.

give me 1 example of someone that is feels so strongly about themselves that they feel nothing when people mock, point, laugh, hurt, physically abuse onesself.

slaynish 2008-08-14 08:19 PM

There is no one. If someone can maje it through life without caring what other people thought of them, they would be the biggest pieces of shit.

Think about it, they would have no class, no manners, no personality, no morals, no respect, no nothing. It all ties in with caring about what others think.

Do you think you would have any class if you didn't have to in most occasions? If you were at a dinner party with your boss's family and you didn't care what they thought, you would show up wearing rags and eat like disrespectful asshole.

Would you respect others if you didn't have to? Or would you treat others like they mean nothing to you, and change like the wind?

The answer is No, you wouldn't. Because you wouldn't care what others thought. You would be.. a piece of shit.

When I first met my USA Coaches, I wore a light blue dress shirt with a red tie, and khaki dockers with dress shoes and my shirt tucked in. I cared what they would think, and I value first, second, third, and last impressions. Everybody cares what others think, in one way or another. If you claim you don't, you're full of shit. If you actually dont, then you clearly have no goals whatsoever in life.

Wallow 2008-08-15 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slaynish (Post 646992)
There is no one. If someone can maje it through life without caring what other people thought of them, they would be the biggest pieces of shit.

Hence why I said they were a rare kind of individual
Nobody likes to be a piece of shit

hotdog 2008-08-16 09:14 AM

I think what you mean is. Everyone cares about what others think but some choose not to act on it. For instance if someone said you look like crap in school and you just kept walking on you would still care about their opinion on how you look like crap but you chose not to act on it and kept moving on with your life. Why? Because he is no one to impress.

Impressing people who have the power to make your life better is acting on what they think but if you don't see them as important then you won't act on it. It doesn't mean you don't care. It just means you don't care about impressing them.

jamer123 2008-08-18 02:27 PM

i dont really care of what people think of me

-Spector- 2008-08-20 03:15 PM

I couldn't tell.


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