50 Things Guys WIsh Girls Knew
 

Just wanted to point this out. I got this from a website, but the link kept fucking up, so I just copied and pasted it here. I think it is fucking hillarious, and yes, I agree with most of it. Enjoy! :)

1. If you want to cuddle after sex go buy a teddy bear.

2. Swallow. Don't start the race if you ain't gonna finish it.

3. While giving a hand job please remove all rings from your fingers, they hurt really bad.

4. Shave your shit. Seriously, shave it bald.

5. Remember that a little blood never hurt nobody.

6. There is no such thing as a fat, ugly, blow job.

7. If you ask us to any sort of dance that requires that we wear a tie, we expect a sexual favor in return.

8. If you used a vibrator and let us watch it might be the greatest moment of our life.

9. If you wonder why we will not eat you out it is most likely because; it stinks, its hairy, or it stinks and its hairy.

10. You masturbate and we know it. When you do it just let us watch.

11. Birth control is the best invention ever. Start poppin those bitches.

12. Just cause we call you when we are drunk does not mean that we like you. It means that we need some ass.

13. Guys night out means guys night out. It doesn't mean that you and your friends meet us at the bar later.

14. If you wonder why your ass looks fat in those tight pants its because you have a fat ass.

15. If you are with us and you start to cry for any reason just get up and leave.

16. Don't think that we don't know that after we take you out and you order a salad to make us think you eat healthy that you go home and order pizza with your fat friends.

17. Once again, seriously shave your shit.

18. Just cause you get our dick one night, does not give you any right to get it the next.

19. If we drink too much, we do not need someone to hold our hair back and act like our babysitter. We have puked before and know how to handle it.

20. After we are through with you, do not expect to make us jealous by fucking our friends. We really don't care what you do.

21. If we cheat on you and you never find out about it, then its not cheating.

22. If we cheat on you and you do find out, at least it wasn't with one of your friends.

23. Swallow(just in case you forgot #2 already).

24. We don't have a problem with watching chick flicks as long as we get in your pants after.

25. Never under any circumstance take a shit while you are around us or fart. Just thinking about it makes us sick.

26. While giving us head don't be afraid to fondle our testicles, they don't bite.

27. If you are gonna jerk us off aim properly, a nut can irritate your eye.

28. Always remember that men are the superior sex and back in the day you had to ask us if you could speak.

29. If we're about to have sex and we decline because we don't have a rubber its not because we're scared we're gonna get you pregnant, its that we're scared we're gonna catch something from your dirty skank ass.

30. If you swallow like you should, do not expect us to kiss you after. Sorry that's just the way it is.

31. I don't care if you do have a flavored condom, you just don't give a blow job with a condom on. Would you like us to eat you out with a dental damn?? I didn't think so.

32. If we're doing it doggy style there is no reason to turn around and look at us, we're focused on your ass cheeks and that slapping sound.

33. Blood stains on our bed sheets come off with cold water, so make sure you scrub them thoroughly before leaving.

34. When we go down on you to munch on your rug and we instantly start sucking on the inner thighs rather than the clit, its because your clit smells like a dead trout.

35. If you let us donkey punch you we will owe you for life.

36. Just cause we have sex with you when we are drunk does not mean that you are pretty or that we like you. It means that you were our only choice.

37. If we dance with you for more than 15 minutes at a bar we expect you to come home with us.

38. If you think that you are ugly, we probably do too.

39. Don't count on us saying we love you, its just not going to happen.

40. If for some reason we do say we love you its only because we want to have sex immediately after we say it.

41. Just cause you have our phone number doesn't mean we want you to call us. If we want to talk then we will call you.

42. If you invite us over to watch a movie it would be awesome if we watched a porn instead of a movie.

43. If you can't dance then you most likely suck in bed. So stop trying to dance and start having more sex.

44. Hmmmmm......girls in thongs.......yummmmmmmmmm

45. If you are fat the only way you are going to get anywhere in life is to give great blow jobs. Sorry that's just the way it is.

46. A sure way to keep a guy around for awhile is to have anal sex with him. We can't put into words how it feels.

47. You don't have to ask our permission to make out with another chick. Just do it but make sure we are there to watch.

48. In case you didn't read #4 and #17 let me repeat...Shave your shit!

49. Guys don't have sex or make love, we fuck.

50. You can impress us if you can swallow our entire load without dripping or wiping your mouth afterwards.

Seriously ladies this list is the truth and all guys think this way. If your boyfriend says that he does not agree with these then he is either a fag or he does not have the balls to admit it like I just did. This list is all that you need. Take your pussy Seventeen magazines or whatever the hell that you read and burn them or something, those quizzes in there do not mean shit. I would like to thank all of those who gave input, I couldn't have done it without you.

lol

Haha so true, so true..

allthough i havnt come near to having sex, im sure that most of those are not lies. Senny si uh make sure u memorize that for later on with ka, i know u guys gots somthing goin in :killgrin:

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

Wow, how old are you again? Oh yeah, you definitely wouldn't understand. This is like the fucking bible dude.

I dont think like that either, i like to be polite to girls and i dont like to act like a dick ... I feel being nice will get you farther then being a dickhead... All that will lead to is drugs and achoal..

LOL, thats all true, atleast i buy into it, im not old enough though -.-

But for sure no one likes getting drunk banging someone than waking up and having to explain why you dont ever want to see them again the next day.

Hah, there is a difference between ettiquette with a girlfriend/significant other, and someone you are just messing around with for fun. Friends with benefits for example. If you don't know what I'm talking about, or don't agree with most of this, trust me, you most likely will a little later in life.

This isn't what guys say to females or how they act around them, this is simply a list of things that a lot of guys just wish a girl would do for us without us having to ask or insinuate in any way, shape, or form.

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

But if you truely loved a girl, and she you, then sexual interactions are obviously very important. These are just guidelines she could base some of her behavior by to keep you happy. That is all this is. This is just a funny list, and you boys are definitely reading into this way too much.

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

Yeah, I guess i forgot that its just thoughts, but i dont really think that way, and i guess im too young to understand, Sorry for wasting your 'time.'

1. If you want to cuddle after sex go buy a teddy bear.

I like cuddling and sleeping with my girl, so I don't agree with this one.

5. Remember that a little blood never hurt nobody.

I hate this, and hate when it happens.

8. If you used a vibrator and let us watch it might be the greatest moment of our life.

I love that one, soooo true

15. If you are with us and you start to cry for any reason just get up and leave.

I don't agree with that, but c'mon now, that is fucking funny shit!

25. Never under any circumstance take a shit while you are around us or fart. Just thinking about it makes us sick.

Oddly enough, I don't agree with that one. I was comfortable enough around my last girlfriend that we would do this in fron of each other all the time. It is a natural thing, why be embarrassed?

28. Always remember that men are the superior sex and back in the day you had to ask us if you could speak.

Again, just funny.

29. If we're about to have sex and we decline because we don't have a rubber its not because we're scared we're gonna get you pregnant, its that we're scared we're gonna catch something from your dirty skank ass.

Don't agree, I'm not usually trying to get on skanks, so this isn't ever really an issue for me. Who doesn't ahve a rubber anyway at all times?

32. If we're doing it doggy style there is no reason to turn around and look at us, we're focused on your ass cheeks and that slapping sound.

Heh, I actually get turned on when they look back, so I disagree with this one too.

33. Blood stains on our bed sheets come off with cold water, so make sure you scrub them thoroughly before leaving.

Again, just fucking tacky and funny as hell!

35. If you let us donkey punch you we will owe you for life.

No, this is actually my favorite one!

39. Don't count on us saying we love you, its just not going to happen.

40. If for some reason we do say we love you its only because we want to have sex immediately after we say it.

I don't think these two go hand in hand, but 40, is actually true sometimes, unfortunately... :(

49. Guys don't have sex or make love, we fuck.

Agree, unless it's with someone I care about and we are in a relationship. Although, we still fuck too. ;)

Ok, well, I just went through each one, and as you can see, if it is not here, I agree with it, even if it is my significant other. Of course I wouldn't say some of them if she wasn't confortable, and also if she doesn't agree with them I'm not gonna break up with her, this is just a preference.

I think us guys need to explain something to you, being polite doesn't work, girls really want to be treated like shit, its in their genes. And you said I feel being nice will get you farther than being a dickhead

Correction:

1. I feel that.
2. farther >< further
3. dickhead >< PIMP.

Do you show off to girls by puttin shit in your hair? Or painting your nails? And wtf is achoal? A choal? Wtf? I'm Confused, HELP ME!

You need to take your vitamins and grow up boy, quit being everyone's little BITCH.

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

I dont agree with all that garbage.... if you live your life all about sex, then you aren't living.

d3v, incase you didnt notice im not really the best speller, im allowed to do weird shit and have no reason why, im allowed to just not type well, allthough i do for my age, im sure.

You ARE NOT allowed to be a gay hypocrit, as you can see im not the gay hypocrit here... he-he... And putting stuff in my hair was only for laughs, its not like i did it again, i only did that for zelaron because i thought you guys could get a kick out of it and obvously failed to do so... Seince i know how damn sensetive you are about looks i wont do that anymore, BUT i sure do know that if i were to do that around 6 mons ago everyone would laugh, everything has changed seince the beginning, really bad, and were getting the fucking queerest members and its pissing everyone off... I think we need to ban everyone thats joined for the last six months.. Unless they have done somthing important. Oddly enough, d3v wouldnt be here. :) Just what i was hoping.


Oh yeah, and d3v if you want to flame me, flame me INSIDE of the flame forum, because if you really want another beating, ill give you one :killgrin:



Why is it you talk shit, and then you get pwnt and never reply, loser, go away, run, theres a monster chasing after you, fucking moronic imp.

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

shinto whos side are you on anywayS? i have failed to notice which