Got a chuckle out of me
 

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly
her husband burst into the kitchen.



"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking
too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter.
Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!
Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when u're
cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your
mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.
Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"



The wife stared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you? You think I
don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied,
"I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving!!"

lol yea thats pretty good.

yea heheh *writes that one down for later*

Sounds like my friend's girlfriend.

*Speed limit 35*
*He hits 37*
OH MY GOD SLOW DOWN!! *screaming*

...Then when she's driving she goes 90 on that same 35 (literally.)

Heh. I'll be sharing that one with the next person who harrasses me about my driving.

Oh, how I can't wait until I learn to drive. All the shouting! THE FUN!

driving is the best, but the chicks who drive in the backseat is the worst

Turn the music up very loud and they won't talk too much. If they do you won't hear them.

Then they scream over it. :(

How about a pair of those headphones that block all outside sounds?

You'd be able to block out the backseat drivers, but then you wouldn't be able to hea if, say, a wheel fell off your car...or your engine exploded.

When you're learning to drive, your parents will use the invisible brake pedal all the damn time. People who've driven with parents know what I mean.

Oh, yeah definitely. My dad also takes full advantage of the "oh shit" handles.

first time i drove in a parkinglot my dad had his hand attached to the emergency brake handle which actually made me more nervous then anything. Also, if a car was moving int he parking lot with me, he would tell me to slow down, even if the car was a mile away. Kinda like the sceen from Austin powers when the security car screams at the top of his lungs when austin was driving the tractor. yea it was kinda like that

I can't believe you guys even have this problem. Make the girl sit passenger side. If she utters a single word of malcontent at your driving ability, it's definitely time to choke a bitch. Reach over, grab her neck, and procede to "live the dream" until she can longer breathe.

No, it's definitely better and safer to either, kick her out of the moving car (swing the car left and right for extra momentum) or just knock her out walker texas ranger style.


http://people.colgate.edu/jkrong/let...ips/conan1.wmv

Yea, but nothing says shut up bitch, i'm in command like an old backhand across the face.

My mom is 100% guilty of doing that. However, when she drives, I'm clinging to the "Oh Shit" handles for life.

I've got a friend who holds on to the "Oh Shit" handles whilst driving...I've only ever had a lift off him once...never again.

my dad does 120 in a 70 zone.. its scary, but quiet funny.. he gets a fine just about everyday and i do enjoy laughing @ him.. the scariest part is when he reachers high speeds you can feel like front tires starting to lift up off the ground o_O he has a V8 commodore.. the previous owner worked the shit out of it, he put a HSV Racer Motor into it, and all this other shit. its actually very wierd when you look under the hood of the car

Where do you live that he can afford to 'get fines just about everyday?' Also, 120 isn't that bad.

What happened to the one where Walker tells the kid he has AIDS?!?

we live in a small town in Newcastle,NSW,Australia.. the only reason he can afford to pay the fines is because of his inheritance he got off my grandmother >.< assloads of money+got her house.. and im talking 120km's.. not MILES.

Wow 120KMH is nothing. That's like (120KMH) 72 MPH in a (~70KMH) 40 MPH zone.

do you even know what your talking about?

Sorry, I didn't edit in time for you to see.

KM?!?!? WTF? How does a car lift off the ground at 72 MPH?

I was talking about 120 MPH not being that fast. That's over 190 KM/H. Sheesh. Weird Australian cars that weigh 50 lbs.

NEWCASTLE?!

THAT'S A PLACE IN ENGLAND!

Why oh why is everyone stealing place names from England?!

I live near Worcester. In NEW ENGLAND. So there.

New England, New London, New Wales, Birmingham, Bristol, Newcastle...the few I know of.

Find a map of Britain and a map of Australia, and one of USA and you will find most of the UK place names on either of the other maps.

Just because you started off as colonies didn't mean that when people moved over in whenever they needed to steal their Motherland's names!

People were uncreative back then. I mean for fuck's sake, we even have New Mexico.

Ha ha ha ha! The jokes on you now!

New Mexico indeed! Ha ha ha ha ha!

I dno, never was too interested in learning how to drive. Personally prefer riding a bicycle, and if I need to go somewhere on a long haul, the train's pretty relaxing and the bus is nice for the scenic route. I'm patient enough too.

If it's a longer excursion, I don't mind hitching a ride with someone else either. Well, to each his own, sooner or later though, I'll need to learn to drive, for more diversity of skill and also for survival later in life, most likely, since driving skills seems to be quite crucial in today's society. But I'll probably stick to my bicycle and public transport more often.