Zelaron Gaming Forum - World Record Thread

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- - World Record Thread (http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=27916)

Guns are too cold =(

Oh well.

How about a big stick???

The First Book of Lenny...

And God said: "Blessed be the Big-Noses."
And the people laughed.
And God looked down at Lenny and said: "Well he has got a big nose."
And the people laughed.
And the 27th disciple, George, said: "Like an Alligator."
And God said: "I know a joke about Alligators."
And the [58] disciples said: "Tell us."
And God said: "A man walked into a bar and asked the waiter: 'Do you do Alligator sandwiches?' And the waiter said: 'Yes.' And the man replied: 'OK then, get me an alligator sandwich, and make it quick.'."
And so the first joke of the age was given to the faithful.

The Second Book of Lenny...

And Lenny said unto the crowd: "And God came to me in a dream and he [told] to me the second joke of the age. Thus I repeat: A man walked into a bar and said: 'WHAT THE BLOODY HELL??? WHICH LITTLE PRICK PUT THIS HERE???'."
And the people laughed.
And the blessed Big-Noses were made martyrs.
And so came the second joke of the age.

The Book of Thomas.....

And Thomas said unto the people: "I am God."
And the people worshipped him and made him God and built him temples and bought him cake.

The Third Book of Lenny.....

And God came unto Lenny in a dream and [gave] unto him directions for the third joke of the age.
And so Lenny travelled to the Temple of Thomas, but the cake proved too much for him, so instead he went to the Lesser Temple of Tom where [he] found the third joke.
And so he addressed the crowd: "A Bog-Nose, a fishmonger and a slightly stupid Irish person were sitting on a bridge eating lunch. The Big-Nose opened his lunchbox, found camel-hair sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The fishmonger opened his lunchbox, found camel-meat sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' And the slightly stupid Irish person opened his lunchbox, found camel-turd sandwiches and said in a slightly corny imitation of an Irish persons voice: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The next day, all three men had the same butties again, and thus threw themselves off the bridge. At their funeral, a joint affair, the Big-Nose's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-hair was his favourite.' And the fishmonger's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-meat was his favourite.' And the Slightly Stupid Irish person's wife said: 'I don't understand it, he made his own sandwiches.'
And the people laughed.
And one said: "What is an Irish person?"
And Lenny replied: "I'll be buggered."
And the people laughed.
And so was found the third joke of the age.

The Fourth Book of Lenny..........

And God came [unto] Lenny in a fourth dream and revealed the fourth joke of the age.
And Lenny was heard to mutter: "Ha ha, Dom the Worm."
And Lenny laughed himself to death.
And so ended the Legacy of the Big-Nose.
And thus the fourth joke of the age was never again spoken by mortal lips.
And the people had to make do with 'Danny the Ginger' instead.
And thus ended the Religious Age of the Jokes.

The Fifth Book of Lenny..........

And Lenny arrived at the gates of heaven.
And St. Peter told him the demons of heaven had gone down to Earth to look for him.
And Lenny said: "Demons in heaven. Ha. A paradox in a paradox."
And St. Peter did not understand.
And St. Peter asked Lenny what he meant.
And Lenny said: "Ignore me, I'm rambling."
And St. Peter shrugged.
And St. Peter recieved a message by L-mail.
And Lenny said: "I never knew they had Lightning mail here."
And St. Peter said: "New Fixture. Keeps on getting interference form storms below though."
And St. Peter read the message.
And Lenny read the message over his shoulder.
And Lenny went white.
And St. Peter grinned.
And St. Peter pushed a button and Lenny returned to Earth.
And Lenny was in his bed.
And the demons of heaven were standing around it.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons laughed.
And thus Lenny was reincarnated.
And the demons of heaven tortured Lenny for insulting the new God Danny.
And they stuck burning pins into all of his hair holes.
And they broke all of his bones with a teddy bear.
And Lenny was in intense pain.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons grinned and tortured him some more.
And Danny looked down from heaven and said: "This pleases Danny."
And the demons grinned.
And they tortured Lenny.
And they ripped out his tongue with a fork.
And they invited his neighbours over for a party.
And the neighbours trashed his house.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons persuaded Lenny's girlfriend to sleep with his brother.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons tortured Lenny some more.
And they ripped open his stomach.
And they burnt his internal organs.
And they filled his insides with minus pH acids.
And they stitched him back up again.
And Lenny died once more.
And thus ended the torture of Lenny.

The Sixth Book of Lenny...........

And the Reincarnated Lenny was told that minus pH was impossible.
And Lenny argued with Mr. Bob.
And Mr. Bob gave Lenny a Chemistry lesson.
And Lenny laughed.
And Mr. Bob said: "OK then smart arse. Make a -pH acid."
And Lenny said: "OK, I will."
And Lenny walked up the stairs tp the Chemistry lab.
And in the Lab, Lenny failed to make a -pH acid.
And Mr. Bob laughed.
And Lenny ran out in a huff.
And Lenny stood on a rather large thumbtack.
And the thumbtack stuck in his foot
And Leny hopped around, trying to get it out.
And he hopped towards the stairs.
And Lenny fell down the stairs.
And he fell down a floor.
And then another.
And a third.
And he fell on a poor orphan girl.
And the poor orphan girl broke his fall.
And Lenny was unharmed but from a rather large thumbtack still in his foot.
And so it was that which was the Sixth Book of Lenny.

The Seventh Book of Lenny..........

And then the little orphan girl stood up.
And there was much rejoicing.
And the little orphan girl said "You asshole you fell on me".
And the little orphan girl proceeded to smack lenny in the face.
And there was much rejoicing.
And then Lenny died a horrible death and no one went to his funeral.
And then Lenny was sent to hell.
And he will spend all eternity there for his stupidity.
And there was much rejoicing.

The Eigth Book of Lenny..........

And so Lenny was left in hell.
And his personal demons tortured him.
And they made him drink -pH acids.
And Mr. Bob appeared and told the demons off for using a physical impossibilty.
And the demons shrugged and tortured Mr. Bob instead.
And Lenny escaped.
And there were many groans.
And Mr. Bob escaped.
And there was much rejoicing.
And Plantum appeared, tempted by the chocolate.
And Lenny made him into three bars.
And Lenny gave Wilma the three bars of Plantum.
And so Lenny bought the rights to the Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And he threw a house party.
And he was thrown in the pool.
And he got wet.
And there was much rejoicing.

----------

Any ideas for Book 9???

Das erste Buch von Lenny..........

Und Gott sagte: "gesegnet seien Sie die Gross-Nasen."
Und die Leute lachten.
Und Gott betrachtete unten Lenny und sagte: "wohl hat
er eine grosse Nase."
Und die Leute lachten.
Und der 27.schüler, George, gesagt: "wie ein Krokodil."
Und Gott sagte: "ich weiß einen Witz über Krokodile."
Und die [ 58 ] Schüler sagten: "erklären Sie uns."
Und Gott sagte: "ein Mann ging in einen Stab und fragte den Kellner: ' tun Sie Alligatorsandwiche?' Und der Kellner sagte: ' ja.' Und der Mann antwortete: ' OKAY dann, erhalten Sie mir ein Alligatorsandwich, und bilden Sie es schnell.'."
Und so wurde der erste Witz des Alters zum zuverlässigen gegeben.

Das zweite Buch von Lenny..........

Und Lenny sagte an die Masse: "und Gott kam zu mir in einem
Traum und in ihm [ erklärt ] zu mir der zweite Witz des Alters. So
wiederhole ich: Ein Mann ging in einen Stab und sagte: ' WAS DIE
BLUTIGE HÖLLE??? WELCHEM WENIG STICHEL SETZTE DIESES HIER???'."
Und die Leute lachten.
Und die gesegneten Gross-Nasen wurden Märtyrer gebildet.
Und kam so der zweite Witz des Alters.

Das Buch von Thomas..........

Und Thomas sagte an die Leute: "ich bin Gott."
Und die Leute beteten ihn an und bildeten ihn Gott und errichteten ihn Bügel und
kauften ihn Kuchen.

Das dritte Buch von Lenny..........

Und Gott kam an Lenny in einem Traum und [ gab ], an ihn
Richtungen für den dritten Witz des Alters.
Und so reiste Lenny zum Bügel von Thomas, aber der Kuchen prüfte zu viel für ihn, so anstatt er ging zum wenigen Bügel von Tom in dem [ er ] gefunden dem dritten Witz.
Und so sprach er zu der Masse: "eine Sumpf-Nase, ein Fischhändler und eine etwas dumme irische Person sassen auf einer Brücke das Mittagessen essend. Die Gross-Nase öffnete sein lunchbox, fand Kamel-Haar Sandwiche und sagte: ' wenn die Frau mir diese noch einmal gibt, werfe mich ich dieser Brücke.' ab Der Fischhändler öffnete sein lunchbox, fand Kamel-Fleisch Sandwiche und sagte: ' wenn die Frau mir diese noch einmal gibt, werfe mich ich dieser Brücke.' ab Und die etwas dumme irische Person öffnete sein lunchbox, fand Kamel-turd Sandwiche und sagte in einer etwas blöden Nachahmung einer Stimme der irischen Personen: ' wenn die Frau mir diese noch einmal gibt, werfe mich ich dieser Brücke.' ab Am nächsten Tag, hatten alle drei Männer die gleichen butties wieder und warfen sich folglich weg
von der Brücke. An ihrem Begräbnis sagte eine gemeinsame Angelegenheit, die Frau der Gross-Nase: ' ich verstehe sie nicht, Kamel-Haar war sein Liebling.' Und die Frau des Fischhändlers sagte: ' ich verstehe es nicht, Kamel-Fleisch war sein Liebling.' Und die etwas dumme Frau der irischen Person sagte: ' ich verstehe es nicht, er bildete seine eigenen Sandwiche.' Und die Leute lachten.
Und man sagte: "was ist eine irische Person?"
Und Lenny antwortete: "ich werde gebummelt."
Und die Leute lachten.
Und so wurde dem dritten Witz des Alters gefunden.

Das vierte Buch von Lenny..........

Und Gott kam [ an ] Lenny in einem vierten Traum und deckte den
vierten Witz des Alters auf.
Und Lenny wurde gehört, um zu murmeln: "ha ha, Dom die Endlosschraube." Und Lenny lachte sich zum Tod.
Und so beendet dem Vermächtnis der Gross-Nase.
Und folglich wurde der vierte Witz des Alters nie wieder durch Todlippen gesprochen.
Und die Leute mußten ' mit Danny anstatt sich zufriedengeben der Ingwer '. Und folglich beendet das fromme Alter der Witze.

Das fünfte Buch von Lenny..........

Und Lenny kam zu den Gattern des Himmels.
Und Str. Peter erklärte ihm, daß die Dämonen des Himmels unten gegangen waren mit Erde zu bedecken, um ihn zu suchen.
Und Lenny gesagt: "Dämonen im Himmel. Ha. Ein Paradox in einem Paradox." Und Str. Peter verstand nicht.
Und Str. Peter fragte Lenny, was er bedeutete.
Und Lenny gesagt: "ignorieren Sie mich, ich sind abschweifend."
Und Str. Peter gezuckt.
Und Str. Peter recieved eine Anzeige durch L-Post.
Und Lenny gesagt: "ich wußte nie, daß sie hatten Blitzpost hier."
Und Str. Peter gesagt: "Neue Befestigung. Unterhaelte auf Störung Formstürme unten erhalten zwar."
Und Str. Peter las die Anzeige.
Und Lenny las die Anzeige über seiner Schulter.
Und Lenny ging Weiß.
Und Str. Peter grinste.
Und Str. Peter betätigte eine Taste und Lenny ging zur Masse zurück.
Und Lenny war in seinem Bett.
Und die Dämonen des Himmels standen um es.
Und Lenny geschrieen.
Und die Dämonen gelacht.
Und folglich reincarnated Lenny.
Und die Dämonen des Himmels quälten Lenny für das Beleidigen des neuen Gottes Danny.
Und sie hafteten brennende Stifte in alle seine Haarbohrungen.
Und sie brachen alle seine Knochen mit einem Teddybären.
Und Lenny war in den intensiven Schmerz.
Und Lenny geschrieen.
Und die Dämonen grinsten und quälten ihn mehr.
Und Danny schaute unten vom Himmel und sagte: "dieses gefällt Danny." Und die Dämonen grinsten.
Und sie quälten Lenny.
Und sie zerrissen aus seiner Zunge mit einer Gabel.
Und sie luden seine Nachbarn rüber für eine Partei ein.
Und die Nachbarn trashed sein Haus.
Und Lenny geschrieen.
Und die Dämonen überzeugten Freundin Lennys, mit seinem Bruder zu schlafen.
Und Lenny geschrieen.
Und die Dämonen quälten Lenny mehr.
Und sie zerrissen geöffnet seinen Magen.
Und sie brannten seine internen Organe.
Und sie füllten seine Innere mit MinuspH Säuren.
Und sie nähten ihn Unterstützungs wieder.
Und Lenny noch einmal gestorben.
Und folglich beendet der Folterung von Lenny.

Das sechte Buch von Lenny...........

Und das Reincarnated Lenny wurde erklärt, daß minus pH unmöglich war.
Und Lenny argumentierte mit Herrn Bob.
Und Herr Bob gab Lenny eine Chemielektion.
Und Lenny gelacht.
Und Herr Bob sagte:"OKAY dann intelligenter Arsch. Bilden Sie a - pH Säure." Und Lenny gesagt: "OKAY, ich Wille."
Und Lenny ging herauf den Treppe TP das Chemielabor.
Und im Labor, konnte Lenny a bilden nicht - pH Säure.
Und Herr Bob lachte.
Und Lenny lief heraus in einen Ärger.
Und Lenny stand auf einem ziemlich großen thumbtack.
Und das thumbtack haftete in seinem Fuß und Lenny hopped herum und versucht, ihn heraus zu erhalten.
Und er hopped in Richtung zur Treppe.
Und Lenny fiel hinunter die Treppe.
Und er fiel hinunter einen Fußboden.
Und dann andere.
Und ein Third.
Und er fiel auf ein armes orphan Mädchen.
Und das arme orphan Mädchen brach seinen Fall.
Und Lenny war aber von einem ziemlich großen thumbtack noch in seinem Fuß unharmed.
Und so war es das, das das sechte Buch von Lenny war.

Das siebte Buch von Lenny..........

Und dann stand das kleine orphan Mädchen oben.
Und dort freute viel sich.
Und das kleine orphan Mädchen, das "Sie Arschloch Sie gesagt wurde, fiel auf mich".
Und das kleine orphan Mädchen fuhr zum smack fort, das im Gesicht lenny ist.
Und dort freute viel sich.
Und dann starb Lenny einen schrecklichen Tod und niemand gingen zu seinem
Begräbnis.
Und dann wurde Lenny zur Hölle geschickt.
Und er verbringt alle Ewigkeit dort für seinen Stupidity.
Und dort freute viel sich.

Das achte Buch von Lenny..........

Und so wurde Lenny in der Hölle gelassen.
Und seine persönlichen Dämonen quälten ihn.
Und sie bildeten ihn Getränk -pH Säuren.
Und Herr Bob erschien und erklärte den Dämonen weg für das Verwenden eines impossibilty Systemtestes.
Und die Dämonen zuckten und quälten Herrn Bob anstatt.
Und Lenny entgangen.
Und es gab viel Ächzen.
Und Herr Bob entging.
Und dort freute viel sich.
Und Plantum erschien, gereizt durch die Schokolade.
Und Lenny bildete ihn in drei Stäbe.
Und Lenny gab Wilma die drei Stäbe von Plantum.
Und so kaufte Lenny die Rechte zum siebte Buch von Lenny..........
Und er warf eine HausPartei.
Und er wurde in die Lache geworfen.
Und er erhielt naß.
Und dort freute viel sich.

Good lord, I remember the early days of this thread.

i can remember when it was up 2 page 62X

Didn't Chruser actually get pissed at us once for this thread?

And what were the logics behind him getting pissed???

hahaha you should all read up on how this whole thread started, it started kinda like this

this like kinda started it, started thread whole this how on up read all should you hahaha

Quote:

Originally Posted by platnum

D2 thread!

yah but i meant by the double posting and repeating of posts but yes this thread does prove that all stupidity emerges from the d2 section

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lenny

wtf where u get the time to write this shit

you're one stupid kid lenny

I wonder how many ppl actually realize that posting in here doesn't count for your post count

Everyone knows, I think.

Its just on of those things that everyone knows.

----------

I find time when I need it. Read the German version. That took a bit of time. Can't think of anything for Book 9 yet though.

Hi guys/gals, im new to the community, just thought i'd say hello :cool:

:cool: olleh yas d'i thguoht tsuj ,ytinummoc eht ot wen mi ,slag/syug iH

----------

HA! Gals is Slag backwards.

BOOK 9 IS UPON US! AND IT HURTS! OW MY TOE!

----------

The First Book of Lenny..........

And God said: "Blessed be the Big-Noses."
And the people laughed.
And God looked down at Lenny and said: "Well he has got a big nose."
And the people laughed.
And the 27th disciple, George, said: "Like an Alligator."
And God said: "I know a joke about Alligators."
And the [58] disciples said: "Tell us."
And God said: "A man walked into a bar and asked the waiter: 'Do you do Alligator sandwiches?' And the waiter said: 'Yes.' And the man replied: 'OK then, get me an alligator sandwich, and make it quick.'."
And so the first joke of the age was given to the faithful.

The Second Book of Lenny..........

And Lenny said unto the crowd: "And God came to me in a dream and he [told] to me the second joke of the age. Thus I repeat: A man walked into a bar and said: 'WHAT THE BLOODY HELL??? WHICH LITTLE PRICK PUT THIS HERE???'."
And the people laughed.
And the blessed Big-Noses were made martyrs.
And so came the second joke of the age.

The Book of Thomas..........

And Thomas said unto the people: "I am God."
And the people worshipped him and made him God and built him temples and bought him cake.

The Third Book of Lenny..........

And God came unto Lenny in a dream and [gave] unto him directions for the third joke of the age.
And so Lenny travelled to the Temple of Thomas, but the cake proved too much for him, so instead he went to the Lesser Temple of Tom where [he] found the third joke.
And so he addressed the crowd: "A Bog-Nose, a fishmonger and a slightly stupid Irish person were sitting on a bridge eating lunch. The Big-Nose opened his lunchbox, found camel-hair sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The fishmonger opened his lunchbox, found camel-meat sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' And the slightly stupid Irish person opened his lunchbox, found camel-turd sandwiches and said in a slightly corny imitation of an Irish persons voice: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The next day, all three men had the same butties again, and thus threw themselves off the bridge. At their funeral, a joint affair, the Big-Nose's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-hair was his favourite.' And the fishmonger's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-meat was his favourite.' And the Slightly Stupid Irish person's wife said: 'I don't understand it, he made his own sandwiches.'
And the people laughed.
And one said: "What is an Irish person?"
And Lenny replied: "I'll be buggered."
And the people laughed.
And so was found the third joke of the age.

The Fourth Book of Lenny..........
And God came [unto] Lenny in a fourth dream and revealed the fourth joke of the age.
And Lenny was heard to mutter: "Ha ha, Dom the Worm."
And Lenny laughed himself to death.
And so ended the Legacy of the Big-Nose.
And thus the fourth joke of the age was never again spoken by mortal lips.
And the people had to make do with 'Danny the Ginger' instead.
And thus ended the Religious Age of the Jokes.

The Fifth Book of Lenny..........

And Lenny arrived at the gates of heaven.
And St. Peter told him the demons of heaven had gone down to Earth to look for him.
And Lenny said: "Demons in heaven. Ha. A paradox in a paradox."
And St. Peter did not understand.
And St. Peter asked Lenny what he meant.
And Lenny said: "Ignore me, I'm rambling."
And St. Peter shrugged.
And St. Peter recieved a message by L-mail.
And Lenny said: "I never knew they had Lightning mail here."
And St. Peter said: "New Fixture. Keeps on getting interference form storms below though."
And St. Peter read the message.
And Lenny read the message over his shoulder.
And Lenny went white.
And St. Peter grinned.
And St. Peter pushed a button and Lenny returned to Earth.
And Lenny was in his bed.
And the demons of heaven were standing around it.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons laughed.
And thus Lenny was reincarnated.
And the demons of heaven tortured Lenny for insulting the new God Danny.
And they stuck burning pins into all of his hair holes.
And they broke all of his bones with a teddy bear.
And Lenny was in intense pain.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons grinned and tortured him some more.
And Danny looked down from heaven and said: "This pleases Danny."
And the demons grinned.
And they tortured Lenny.
And they ripped out his tongue with a fork.
And they invited his neighbours over for a party.
And the neighbours trashed his house.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons persuaded Lenny's girlfriend to sleep with his brother.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons tortured Lenny some more.
And they ripped open his stomach.
And they burnt his internal organs.
And they filled his insides with minus pH acids.
And they stitched him back up again.
And Lenny died once more.
And thus ended the torture of Lenny.

The Sixth Book of Lenny...........

And the Reincarnated Lenny was told that minus pH was impossible.
And Lenny argued with Mr. Bob.
And Mr. Bob gave Lenny a Chemistry lesson.
And Lenny laughed.
And Mr. Bob said: "OK then smart arse. Make a -pH acid."
And Lenny said: "OK, I will."
And Lenny walked up the stairs tp the Chemistry lab.
And in the Lab, Lenny failed to make a -pH acid.
And Mr. Bob laughed.
And Lenny ran out in a huff.
And Lenny stood on a rather large thumbtack.
And the thumbtack stuck in his foot
And Leny hopped around, trying to get it out.
And he hopped towards the stairs.
And Lenny fell down the stairs.
And he fell down a floor.
And then another.
And a third.
And he fell on a poor orphan girl.
And the poor orphan girl broke his fall.
And Lenny was unharmed but from a rather large thumbtack still in his foot.
And so it was that which was the Sixth Book of Lenny.

The Seventh Book of Lenny..........

And then the little orphan girl stood up.
And there was much rejoicing.
And the little orphan girl said "You asshole you fell on me".
And the little orphan girl proceeded to smack lenny in the face.
And there was much rejoicing.
And then Lenny died a horrible death and no one went to his funeral.
And then Lenny was sent to hell.
And he will spend all eternity there for his stupidity.
And there was much rejoicing.

The Eigth Book of Lenny..........

And so Lenny was left in hell.
And his personal demons tortured him.
And they made him drink -pH acids.
And Mr. Bob appeared and told the demons off for using a physical impossibilty.
And the demons shrugged and tortured Mr. Bob instead.
And Lenny escaped.
And there were many groans.
And Mr. Bob escaped.
And there was much rejoicing.
And Plantum appeared, tempted by the chocolate.
And Lenny made him into three bars.
And Lenny gave Wilma the three bars of Plantum.
And so Lenny bought the rights to the Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And he threw a house party.
And he was thrown in the pool.
And he got wet.
And there was much rejoicing.

The Ninth Book of Lenny..........

And so Lenny crawled out of the pond.
And the people laughed at him all wet.
And Lenny became angry and threw the laughers in the pond.
And the people laughed at the laughers.
And Lenny said: "This pleases Lenny."
And Lenny went inside his house and had a shower.
And the water was too hot and burnt Lenny.
And he recieved medical attention.
And he was cured.
And he went home.
And the phone rang.
And so Lenny picked up the phone and answered: "Yo dude, you have reached the marijuana hotline. Sorry but we are not in at the moment. Press the # key and we will send you a free sample. Dude."
And he put the phone down.
And it rang again.
And he answered.
And a voice said: "STOP RESURRECTING THESE GOD-DAMNED BOOKS!"
And Lenny looked at the reciever.
And he said to it: "I am a personal friend of God, and do not think he would like you saying that."
And the reciever shouted back: "LIKE HELL. NOW STOP IT OR I'LL ZAGGGONISE YOU!"
And the reciever went dead.
And Lenny shrugged.
And Lenny sent zagggon a basket of highly poisonous Mantra plushie dolls.
And so zagggon became so excited he became dead.
And Lenny attended his funeral and made a fool of zagggon.
And GravitonSurge appeared and made a fool of Lenny.
And the people laughed.
And Lenny ran off.
And there was much rejoicing.

----------

Coming soon to a Forum near you:

Zelaron gets its own back against Lenny --> The First Chapter..........

And so Lenny makes his tenth appearance, and his final farewell:

The First Book of Lenny..........

And God said: "Blessed be the Big-Noses."
And the people laughed.
And God looked down at Lenny and said: "Well he has got a big nose."
And the people laughed.
And the 27th disciple, George, said: "Like an Alligator."
And God said: "I know a joke about Alligators."
And the [58] disciples said: "Tell us."
And God said: "A man walked into a bar and asked the waiter: 'Do you do Alligator sandwiches?' And the waiter said: 'Yes.' And the man replied: 'OK then, get me an alligator sandwich, and make it quick.'."
And so the first joke of the age was given to the faithful.

The Second Book of Lenny..........

And Lenny said unto the crowd: "And God came to me in a dream and he [told] to me the second joke of the age. Thus I repeat: A man walked into a bar and said: 'WHAT THE BLOODY HELL??? WHICH LITTLE PRICK PUT THIS HERE???'."
And the people laughed.
And the blessed Big-Noses were made martyrs.
And so came the second joke of the age.

The Book of Thomas..........

And Thomas said unto the people: "I am God."
And the people worshipped him and made him God and built him temples and bought him cake.

The Third Book of Lenny..........

And God came unto Lenny in a dream and [gave] unto him directions for the third joke of the age.
And so Lenny travelled to the Temple of Thomas, but the cake proved too much for him, so instead he went to the Lesser Temple of Tom where [he] found the third joke.
And so he addressed the crowd: "A Bog-Nose, a fishmonger and a slightly stupid Irish person were sitting on a bridge eating lunch. The Big-Nose opened his lunchbox, found camel-hair sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The fishmonger opened his lunchbox, found camel-meat sandwiches and said: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' And the slightly stupid Irish person opened his lunchbox, found camel-turd sandwiches and said in a slightly corny imitation of an Irish persons voice: 'If the wife gives me these once more I will throw myself off of this bridge.' The next day, all three men had the same butties again, and thus threw themselves off the bridge. At their funeral, a joint affair, the Big-Nose's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-hair was his favourite.' And the fishmonger's wife said: 'I don't understand it, camel-meat was his favourite.' And the Slightly Stupid Irish person's wife said: 'I don't understand it, he made his own sandwiches.'
And the people laughed.
And one said: "What is an Irish person?"
And Lenny replied: "I'll be buggered."
And the people laughed.
And so was found the third joke of the age.

The Fourth Book of Lenny..........

And God came [unto] Lenny in a fourth dream and revealed the fourth joke of the age.
And Lenny was heard to mutter: "Ha ha, Dom the Worm."
And Lenny laughed himself to death.
And so ended the Legacy of the Big-Nose.
And thus the fourth joke of the age was never again spoken by mortal lips.
And the people had to make do with 'Danny the Ginger' instead.
And thus ended the Religious Age of the Jokes.

The Fifth Book of Lenny..........

And Lenny arrived at the gates of heaven.
And St. Peter told him the demons of heaven had gone down to Earth to look for him.
And Lenny said: "Demons in heaven. Ha. A paradox in a paradox."
And St. Peter did not understand.
And St. Peter asked Lenny what he meant.
And Lenny said: "Ignore me, I'm rambling."
And St. Peter shrugged.
And St. Peter recieved a message by L-mail.
And Lenny said: "I never knew they had Lightning mail here."
And St. Peter said: "New Fixture. Keeps on getting interference form storms below though."
And St. Peter read the message.
And Lenny read the message over his shoulder.
And Lenny went white.
And St. Peter grinned.
And St. Peter pushed a button and Lenny returned to Earth.
And Lenny was in his bed.
And the demons of heaven were standing around it.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons laughed.
And thus Lenny was reincarnated.
And the demons of heaven tortured Lenny for insulting the new God Danny.
And they stuck burning pins into all of his hair holes.
And they broke all of his bones with a teddy bear.
And Lenny was in intense pain.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons grinned and tortured him some more.
And Danny looked down from heaven and said: "This pleases Danny."
And the demons grinned.
And they tortured Lenny.
And they ripped out his tongue with a fork.
And they invited his neighbours over for a party.
And the neighbours trashed his house.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons persuaded Lenny's girlfriend to sleep with his brother.
And Lenny screamed.
And the demons tortured Lenny some more.
And they ripped open his stomach.
And they burnt his internal organs.
And they filled his insides with minus pH acids.
And they stitched him back up again.
And Lenny died once more.
And thus ended the torture of Lenny.

The Sixth Book of Lenny...........

And the Reincarnated Lenny was told that minus pH was impossible.
And Lenny argued with Mr. Bob.
And Mr. Bob gave Lenny a Chemistry lesson.
And Lenny laughed.
And Mr. Bob said: "OK then smart arse. Make a -pH acid."
And Lenny said: "OK, I will."
And Lenny walked up the stairs tp the Chemistry lab.
And in the Lab, Lenny failed to make a -pH acid.
And Mr. Bob laughed.
And Lenny ran out in a huff.
And Lenny stood on a rather large thumbtack.
And the thumbtack stuck in his foot
And Leny hopped around, trying to get it out.
And he hopped towards the stairs.
And Lenny fell down the stairs.
And he fell down a floor.
And then another.
And a third.
And he fell on a poor orphan girl.
And the poor orphan girl broke his fall.
And Lenny was unharmed but from a rather large thumbtack still in his foot.
And so it was that which was the Sixth Book of Lenny.

The Seventh Book of Lenny..........

And then the little orphan girl stood up.
And there was much rejoicing.
And the little orphan girl said "You asshole you fell on me".
And the little orphan girl proceeded to smack lenny in the face.
And there was much rejoicing.
And then Lenny died a horrible death and no one went to his funeral.
And then Lenny was sent to hell.
And he will spend all eternity there for his stupidity.
And there was much rejoicing.

The Eigth Book of Lenny..........

And so Lenny was left in hell.
And his personal demons tortured him.
And they made him drink -pH acids.
And Mr. Bob appeared and told the demons off for using a physical impossibilty.
And the demons shrugged and tortured Mr. Bob instead.
And Lenny escaped.
And there were many groans.
And Mr. Bob escaped.
And there was much rejoicing.
And Plantum appeared, tempted by the chocolate.
And Lenny made him into three bars.
And Lenny gave Wilma the three bars of Plantum.
And so Lenny bought the rights to the Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And he threw a house party.
And he was thrown in the pool.
And he got wet.
And there was much rejoicing.

The Ninth Book of Lenny..........

And so Lenny crawled out of the pond.
And the people laughed at him all wet.
And Lenny became angry and threw the laughers in the pond.
And the people laughed at the laughers.
And Lenny said: "This pleases Lenny."
And Lenny went inside his house and had a shower.
And the water was too hot and burnt Lenny.
And he recieved medical attention.
And he was cured.
And he went home.
And the phone rang.
And so Lenny picked up the phone and answered: "Yo dude, you have reached the marijuana hotline. Sorry but we are not in at the moment. Press the # key and we will send you a free sample. Dude."
And he put the phone down.
And it rang again.
And he answered.
And a voice said: "STOP RESURRECTING THESE GOD-DAMNED BOOKS!"
And Lenny looked at the reciever.
And he said to it: "I am a personal friend of God, and do not think he would like you saying that."
And the reciever shouted back: "LIKE HELL. NOW STOP IT OR I'LL ZAGGGONISE YOU!"
And the reciever went dead.
And Lenny shrugged.
And Lenny sent zagggon a basket of highly poisonous Mantra plushie dolls.
And so zagggon became so excited he became dead.
And Lenny attended his funeral and made a fool of zagggon.
And GravitonSurge appeared and made a fool of Lenny.
And the people laughed.
And Lenny ran off.
And there was much rejoicing.

The Tenth Book of Lenny..........

And Lenny ran until he was away from the funeral.
And so he ran some more.
And he came upon a horse and cart track.
And the horses and carts trotted by.
And some amusing music could be heard playing in time to the trotting of hooves.
And Lenny stepped cautiously into the track, lest he should be run over.
And Lenny muttered to himself: "10 mph. Too damn fast I told them, but would they listen? No? They'll be sorry when they are covered in swelling limbs and rather colourful bruises in the shape of future American President's heads."
And Lenny stood in front of a cart.
And the horse was going too fast (7 mph), and could not stop in time.
And Lenny hijacked it.
And he trotted off.
And the driver caught up with him and punched him.
And there was much rejoicing.
And so Lenny walked to the next town.
And he bought a new house with no floor.
And so he went to the floor tile shop.
And bought some floor tiles.
[But] they had holes in them.
And so Lenny returned to the shop.
And he asked to see the manager.
And manager Mantralord came and spoke with Lenny.
And he took him into the back room.
And there was much screaming.
And the people laughed.
And Lenny came out.
And he was pleased.
And so he went home.
And he fell through his non-existent floor.
And so he died once more.
And so he went to hell once more.
And so he was tortured for ALL eternity.
And he wasn't heard from again.
And the people rejoiced one last time.
And zagggon was happy.
And so were the members of Zelaron.
And so ends the Ten Books of Lenny..........

The one books of kaos

Fuck you.

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaos

The one books of kaos

Fuck you.

The descriptions in this book are immense. They are mind-blowing. They put my over-active imagination to the limits and beyond. I commend you on that.

The story-line was one of the best I have read in years. It kept me on the edge of my seat for so long, that I eroded it to a point. I have had to get a new seat.

One little problem. The dialogue could have been better. The conversations were poor at their best. They were too fast-moving and the statements were as obvious as, say, Mantra's open gayness.

All in all, i give this splendid piece of literature a 7/10. Well done. It will be a long while before I can read anything again, and appreciate it's goodness.

What's this? Lenny wants a final final appearance. Here goes:

The Eleventh Book of Lenny..........

And so Lenny appeared for a final final appearance.
And so he put up his middle finger.
And showed it to Kaos.
And told him: "Why don't you go play hide and go fuck yourself? Motherfucker!"
And so Lenny left For Good.

Why, this place is dead ;_;

It has been a really long time since sum1 posted here since u, i just noticed that

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helloooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo ooooooo ooooo

YOU STUPID FUCK, YOU AIN'T NO BAD MAMAJAMA!

I hate you and your little dog too.

Fuck You You Fucking Nigger Loving Cock Sucking Son Of A Bitch :)

Wow, last time I posted in this thread was on page 1678, little over a year ago. :wierd:

1678??? It's gone down??? Wtf???????????

Shit, that meat grinder is sick...............

It currently has 1956 pages showing for me. Maybe you have it show more posts per page than me?

I don't know....I got 978 pages with...40 posts per page.

im up to 1956 pages as well