I'm always the same when I go camping... wakes up and can't remember where I am.

This toaster's gotta go back!

WARNING: DATES IN CALENDARS ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.

W...t...f...? lol

Wisconsin barbecues the largest burger, a 5,520-pounder.

Warning, gay people will try to touch your penis if you're not careful!

I wish my 'shlong' was like that.

Wisconsin! REPRESENTIN! HELL YEAHZ!

Eat like a star, or eat a star? Micheal Jordan is pictured on a box of Wheaties cereal during 1988.

Who cares? Lol

hes a fag

So why would I eat his stuff?

A man walks nervously into a field where a bull is grazing. He spies a farmer on the other side of the fence and asks, "Is this bull safe?" The farmer replies, "He's as safe as can be; but I can't say the same for you."

Yep. Is like adding a new chapter to "to Kill a Mocking Bird", a great American literiture.

The Apple II is the first PC sold to the public. (Macintosh later beats Granny as the trademark name.)

Succes Tip: The next time you get mad or upset, put yourself on pause and think about how you want to respond first.

Priortize and manage your time so that your first things come first, not last.

The movie Titanic sinks $3 million dollars into the biggest film stunt budget ever.

Two week's of jogging and so far I've made the front door.

This year I'm going to finish off the basement of my house!

The first successful human heart transplant is performed by Dr. Christiaan Barnard in South Africa.

Reading on a wide range of subjects and topics is one of the most effective ways to improve your vocabulary.

I don't buy many luxuries but I love my stereo.

It's getting so that you can't trust anyone anymore.

Is there another word for 'Verily' thats starts with a 'B'?

The logic is simple; if we don't conserve what we have, it won't be preserved for future generations.

Whether you're making a speech or writing an essay, save the best for the last.

Texas Instruments introduces the first pocket calculator during 1971, which weighs 2.5 pounds and costs $150!

1961: Yuri Alekseyevich Gagrin is the first human to orbit the earth.

Try not to miss classes. The plan is to be ahead of the game, not behind.

I'll never forget the time my teacher strapped me for talking in class.

You ever known a day to drag like this?

If you Jane, me Harry.

In 1915, "The Sultan of Swat," a.k.a Babe Ruth, hits the first of his 714 home runs.

Do you procrastinate? Stop putting things off NOW! Go to work and make a difference!

BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND. That way you won't be disappointed when you get to where you're going.

Pity... Dinosours would've made nice sets of luggages.

My next door wants 'The Blue Danube'.

My TV is making a LOUD whistling noise again.

I SWEAR TO GOD MY MOM IS COOKING SPAM DOWNSTAIRS.