I think I met my long lost brother.


Stranger: hey there
You: Watch out for that puppy.
You: .... :D
Stranger: oh okay
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: ?
You: Ok, that's a double, 2 medium fries, and a shake, right?
Stranger: no i want a chicken pattie and waffle fries FO FREE
You: Oh shit son!
You: That'll be nothin' at your 12th window!
Stranger: gigity
Stranger: i like ur way of smiling
Stranger: its yellow
You: Orly?
Stranger: yeah girlfrand
You: w00t!
Stranger: im bored
You: That's why the toilet was invented, silly.
Stranger: ohhhhhh
Stranger: i do love the porcelain god
You: That's racist!
Stranger: no ur rasist
Stranger: i like pickles
You: I am not racist, you nigger!
Stranger: dont call me a nigger
Stranger: u poop face
You: That's what SHE said!
Stranger: no thats what the dog says on tuesday evenings at 4:86 ap
You: exactly 4:86?
You: is he ever late? Like on an off day or something?
Stranger: and 9dsevent 4 seconds
Stranger: yeah
You: beast mode.
Stranger: hes sometimes a bone off
Stranger: DIRTY MOUTH?
Stranger: clean it up with orbit
You: Dirty anus? Clean it out with Oxy Beans!
Stranger: i just cumed on the computer
Stranger: now i cant see what i type
You: Cum on the computer? Spray it away with skeet-b-gone!
Stranger: oh
Stranger: i got a can of that in the basement
Stranger: damn it
Stranger: its out
You: :(
Stranger: ill go get the mule to lick it off
You: Good idea!
You: I'll get the lawnmower.
Stranger: i have 6
Stranger: i win
Stranger: byebye

its like a match made in ... heaven.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: Jesus loves you!
Stranger: and im thankful for that
You: :')
Stranger: haha
Stranger: what you up to
You: Spreading the word of Jesus!
You: You?
Stranger: bored
Stranger: mind if i join u
You: Only if you promise not to have sex before marriage.
You: An abstain from masturbation.
Stranger: well first is ok
Stranger: second is kinda hard
Stranger: i try
Stranger: but damn...
You: masturbation is a tool of the Devil
Stranger: hehe tool
You: And the Devil likes hung dicks in a man's hand.
Stranger: oh really
You: Do not laugh!
Stranger: ok well you tell me
Stranger: what tips do you offer
Stranger: to abstain from masturbation
You: Think of Roseanne Arnold naked.
You: Whenever you get the urge.
Stranger: oh god i think my dick fell off
You: That is not, uh, something I think you should share with me.
You: You see, I'm an ex-gay.
Stranger: oh
You: And I am abstaining from my past homosexual lifestyle.
Stranger: so as an ex gay, you would pick up my dick that just fell off and run off with it?
Stranger: you got other issues than being jus gay then
You: That's not funny!
You: And no, I would not.
Stranger: oh ok
Stranger: give me some more practical tips
Stranger: lets say i have the urge to look at porn
Stranger: which leads to jacking off
You: Find a hobby!
You: Play video games or knit.
You: I like to crochet when the urge arises.
You: Or play basketball with my crippled sister.
You: Those are just samples.
Stranger: yaeh
Stranger: thats true
Stranger: i could do that
Stranger: video games
Stranger: arent a bad idea
You: I find playing basketball with crippled people is a great idea.
You: Let them win a little and they feel like winners.
You: Same with the children with retardations.
Stranger: right
Stranger: do you really play bbal with special ppl
You: Yes, I do.
You: I volunteer to do so every Saturday evening at the local church rec center.
You: A different ex-gay used to do it, but then they caught him performing fellatio on one of the cripples in the locker room.
You: Plus he used to bounce the balls off the heads of little kids
Stranger: thats really good
Stranger: i am proud of you
Stranger: keep up the good work
You: Being an ex-gay is hard.
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: i bet
Stranger: how do you get by
You: I didn't want to be an ex-gay at first, but with the power of Christ I am rejuvenated and Hallelujah I am found again!
You: I get by okay.
You: I avoid looking at other boys..."that" way.
You: And I avoid dealing with other boys who try to tempt me.
Stranger: right right
You: I even have a girlfriend! Her name is Esmerelda. Her family moved here from Mexico when she was a baby. She's an ex-gay too.
Stranger: wow
Stranger: thats kinda messed
You: Howso? We're both happy. Happier with Christ in our lives!
Stranger: well i mean
Stranger: u both basically have repressed feeligs
Stranger: for the other gender
You: We overcame those feelings!
You: And anyone can too, with the power of Christ!
Stranger: thats good
Stranger: keep it up
Stranger: but do you feel weird when you have sex with your wife
Stranger: do you think of guys
You: I do not have sex with her! We're just dating. And..no...I don't.
Stranger: oh i c
Stranger: i thought you were married
Stranger: my bad
Stranger: would you marry her
You: Of course! I love my Esmerelda Rosalita Vazquez!
You: That's not her real last name, but she wishes it was. She said it'd be funnier if she was more stereotypically Mexican.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: are you spanish
Stranger: or white
You: I'm white.
Stranger: i c
You: Sometimes, when I'm asleep, I do have dreams about other guys, but the ex-gay psych said it was normal and I should ignore it.
You: But I have to punish myself somehow when I do.
You: So I eat unhealthy food when I do.
Stranger: how do you punish urself
You: I eat greasy burgers
You: Esmerelda used to cut herself. I made her stop. Now she eats unhealthy food with me.
Stranger: why would she cut herself
You: Because she thought if she did, she'd stop thinking about girls.
Stranger: oh
Stranger: thats not cool
You: It wasn't.
You: Our ex-gay friend Ronnie gave up and eloped with some gay from San Francisco. I felt envious at first, but then I felt mad. He gave up on Jesus.
You: And...and...you just don't do that!
Stranger: one sec
Stranger: why dont u bring him back
Stranger: go on a mission
Stranger: with ur gf
Stranger: transform him back
You: It doesn't work that way. He won't come back. We tried to talk him into going back.
You: And if we were to go, we'd be too tempted.
You: And we can't turn our back on Jesus!
Stranger: how did you become an ex gay
Stranger: i mean what process did you go thryu
Stranger: to leave the gay behind
You: I'm not allowed to say.
You: Other than the power of prayer, the Bible, and Jesus Christ.
Stranger: i c
You: Plus I don't remember a lot of it for some reason.
You: But that's okay!
You: Three months of my life that I can do a little more without. :)
Stranger: wow
Stranger: thats kinda cool
Stranger: but isnt being gay something ur born with
Stranger: its not a choice
You: NO! It is a choice! The Liberal media wants people to believe you're born with it!
Stranger: why not
Stranger: what if you want to be gay
Stranger: and why is being gay so wrong in the eyes of jesus
You: Because Jesus wants us to have wholesome, clean spirits and being gay is against God's wishes. It's in the Old Testament AND the New Testament.
Stranger: why
Stranger: whats so anti god abt being gay
You: It doesn't lead to procreation and...and it leads to a lifestyle that ends in unhappiness and suicide.
Stranger: procreation i understand
Stranger: but how can u make other claims
Stranger: what if 2 gay ppl love each other
Stranger: wont they be happy
You: It's wrong! They won't be happy. You know the average gay has over 200 partners in their lifetime?
You: A man will be happier with a woman!
You: It's in the Bible.
You: Letters to the Corinthians!
Stranger: i dont know
Stranger: what abt this
Stranger: allow gay ppl to marry
Stranger: but keep em out of the church
Stranger: so its a civil union
You: Still wrong.
You: Man and a woman. Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve or Monique and Rhonda!
Stranger: why is it wrong
Stranger: its not doing the religion any harm anymore
Connection imploded.

I genuinely laughed at that last one

you sir, are going to jail for along time.

Some of the best conversations i've ever had have come through Omegle.

Best. Omegle. Ever!

http://www.geekologie.com/2010/01/om...ided_pokem.php

Wow, that is great.

Has anyone been on Omegle lately? They've changed it up a little bit. Still tons of fun!

Did I just see Mdselctr hug a Unicorn?
My life is complete. :eek:

Stranger: heyy
You: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: yes
Stranger: are u a girl?
You: would that make you happy?
Stranger: yeah
You: in what way?
Stranger: are yo
Stranger: you*
You: maybe
You: i have boobs
Stranger: big boobs?
You: not really :(
You: big boobs are grodie
Stranger: seriously are u a girl tho?
You: you still dont know?
Stranger: yeahh okayy hot girl i think ;D
You: :D Thanks
You: have you heard of zelaron?
Stranger: no what is it?
You: its a website
You: gaming website.. im kinda a geek I <3 games
Stranger: hahaa okay babe
Stranger: whats your full name btw?
You: Cynthia... people call me cid
Stranger: whats your 2nd name hun?
You: you dont get that
You: its against my contract
Stranger: contract?
You: i signed on with this guy I met on the street one day. He told me he can make me famous
Stranger: he sounds like a paedophile tbhh
Stranger: how old are you
You: 23
You: nobody text me back, so I jumped on omegle
Stranger: i wont disconnect from you i promise
You: <3<3
Stranger: :D xxxx
You: i have to go play a quick game of starcraft.. this tool is calling me out
Stranger: okayy then babe
You: have a good day
You: :P nice meeting you

god, people on the internet are so desperate. Lmao.

i would post my mibbit logs ive keep ... their sooo funny at times

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Dora straightened herself up and made a pose to Bill, who just nodded his approval. She proceeded to run off to her client. All she knew about this client was that he was sexually confused and liked to wear women's clothing and preferred the dancers to wear strap-on dildos. She'd had weirder requests, of course. Sportacus liked it when you shit on a glass table while he was under it and Baby Bop liked it when you walked on egg yolks barefoot while masturbating with a chili pepper with a purple condom on it. That last one ended up being a terrible experience, but damn did she get a ton of blow with the cash she got from then!
Stranger: why did you tell me this?
You: :)~
Stranger: uh-huh.. :D
You: There is more to the story
You: Shall I post?
Stranger: do i have to :P
You: That is up to you!
Stranger: i dont want too xD
You: :(
Stranger: finee
You: No, no. It's okay.
You: You don't want me to, so I won't.
You: I'm respectful!
Stranger: lol
Stranger: okay
Stranger: thank you
Stranger: :D
You: Any time :)~
You: So I sell propane and propane accessories. What do you do?
Stranger: whats proppane
You: It's a gas. I use it for operating sex toys. And barbecuing my sexuall repressed wife's shoes.
Stranger: oh,yay
You: It's a clean-burning fuel that doesn't leave the taste that charcoal does.
You: It is pure.
Stranger: ...
You: Are you...a charcoal user?
Stranger: indeed i am
You: Well this is just dreadful. >:(
Stranger: lol
You: How could you do this? Charcoal is...such an inefficient source of fuel! And it stinks! Propane is a fine mistress and she's clean-burning and so easy to use. And she doesn't char anything.
Your conversational partner has disconnected

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: I lost my feet in 'Nam. :(
Stranger: why
You: I stepped on a landmine.
You: Goddamn Charlie was everywhere too!
Stranger: o
You: But I got the last laugh. I cut one of them bastard's ears off.
You: And probably fucked his whore wife.
You: I was drunk and experimenting with LSD at the time.
You: Who knows.
Stranger: where are you from?
You: I am from Texas.
Stranger: i am from china
You: Ni hao.
You: Nin hao ma, cockstain?
Stranger: nice to meet you ~
Stranger: i am a student , my english is not good
You: Ah, well, I'm not your typical stupid guiluo.
You: I learned some Chinese in 'Nam.
You: Mostly to pick up hookers.
Stranger: so i want to develop my english
Stranger: where is nam?
You: Vietnam.
Stranger: yes i konw Vietnam.
Stranger: why you go to Vietnam.
You: Vietnam War.
You: To shoot those bastard hanbaobao liuchan
Stranger: really?
You: Yes really.
You: I'm a decorated war hero.
Stranger: o my gard
Stranger: you were hero
Stranger: i like hero
You: Yes! I shot 100 men to protect my platoon after I stepped on a landmine.
You: Goddamn disgraceful day it was.
You: And let me tell you: don't have sex with hookers from Guangdong. They will give ya rotted dick.
Stranger: rotted?
Stranger: what?
You: Yes! Syphillis.
You: Terrible goddamn thing that is.
Stranger: o i know that
Stranger: do you have try?
Stranger: why you konw it?
You: But I once met this hooker that was from Shanghai. Goddamn gorgeous girl with long, flowing hair and a pretty smile. I got about fifteen blowjobs out of her before she went back to Shanghai with all my money. Her name was Yili.
You: Why do I know what?
Stranger: It was awful
Stranger: like you say
You: I was a medic, son. That's how I know.
Stranger: o you are doctor
You: 博士
You: Correct!
You: Well, I was.
Stranger: 博士？
You: Until my feet got blown the fuck off! So now I run a medical technology center out of Houston, Texas.
You: I don't know where that came from.
Stranger: what you doing now ?medical technology center out of Houston?
You: I teach people how to be doctors and to save lives.
You: And how to use medical devices.
Stranger: just like a angel
You: Nothing like an angel, son. Those don't exist.
You: Like a teacher.
Stranger: that' all right
Stranger: how do you think abobt china?
You: I have no opinions or thoughts on China as I have not been there.
Stranger: i don't think china is a good place here have so mush pretty pass
You: That's a shame, son.
You: I am going to bed now. It's been a pleasure, son. Don't step on any landmines like I did.
You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: ( . Y . )
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl
You: 22/m
Stranger: hw ru
You: tired
You: you
Stranger: 75 f
You: impressive.
Stranger: but want sex
You: even more impressive.
Stranger: i want to born a new baby
You: Good luck.
Stranger: i am able or not?
Stranger: in this age
You: Definitely. Go whore yourself up
You: Fill yourself with semen
You: BATHE IN SEMEN
Stranger: had done sex with anyone
Stranger: ?
You: MANY MANY 75 YEAR OLDS
Stranger: fuck off
Stranger: mother fucker
You: LAWL
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

That may be a reflection on you, and not on those with whom you converse.

Burnnnnn