Zelaron Gaming Forum - 50 Signs that your friend plays too much Diablo 2

53. When you set your clothes on fire and run around thinking you're
using "Blaze".

54. When you work on the barter system instead of getting money for
stuff you sell.

55. When you throw things in the air to drop them and wonder why they
break.

56. When you say "exclamation point", talk and then look above
your head for the text box with your words in it.

57. When you respond to real life jokes by saying "LOL"

58. When you consider killing yourself for a quick way back to
town...and wonder why you cant pick up your corpse

59. When you wake up and classify the day as "normal",
"Nightmare", or "Hell"

60. When you kill porcupines at the zoo thinking that the quill rats
will hurt you if you don't.

61. When you dream about Diablo II

62. When you are bored, sitting in class and try to save and exit.

63. When you buy a computer chair with a built in toilet

64. When you get kicked out of class for constantly asking your profs
to "identify" your belongings

65. You refer to your textbooks as "tomes", and continually
shove paper into them to refill

66. You explain to the doorman that you should be allowed in, because
you didn't kill the king last time

67. You break countless Rubix cubes, trying to shove stuff in them

68. You had a fight with Charsi, and are waiting for her to break the
ice.

69. You buy items on Ebay.

70. You don't blink anymore

71. When you carry a lot of stuff, and try to grab something else
instead suddenly say, "I am overburdened, I can't carry
anymore."

72. When you put on a pair of boots and expect to run faster

73. When you carry red/blue kool-aid around and call it a
"potion"

74. When you look for the "new stats" button to press after
working out

75. When you try to wield your Father's father

76. When you punch someone out then curse because they didn't drop a
unique

77. When you run from vines

78. When you curse at Olympic archers for being "newbie zons"

79. When you call going shopping "Wal-Mart runs"

80. When you think you are using a map hack when reading the town's
map.

81. When you answer people with a recorded tape saying "Thank
you", "time to die", "run away"...

82. When you start killing all the cows on the field to get more
experience.

83. When you see someone with a fork an think she's an assassin.

84. When you get strangely excited anytime you see that the color
gold...

85. Your mouse has committed suicide to stop the incessant clicking.

86. A power outage causes you to notice it is no longer July 17.

86. If you have ever attacked a midget while yelling, "Use a blow
gun on me, will ya?!"

87. You fear that your recently deceased
friend/relative/neighbor/etc. will be chewed up and spat at you.

88. You steal the holy water sprinkler from your local church and use
it to attack small animals.

89. For some reason you keep getting these "Daylight Savings"
messages on your computer...

90. Your eyeballs have deflated.

91. The function keys on your keyboard fracture.

92. Your feet have mummified due to lack of circulation.

93. When your girlfriend comes over, gets naked, then sits beside you
and you tell her to wait until you level up.

94. When someone asks you for your name you tell them the name of
your highest level character

95. When you ask someone what level they are instead of their age

96. When asked what you want for Christmas, you say "ALL THE
UNIQUES!!!"

97. When someone beats you up and you call them a hacker!

98. When you think Bill Gates dupes his money

99. When you claim to your friends that you absorb lightning and to
prove it to them you stick a fork in an electrical outlet

100. When you role play the Diablo II storyline in real life by
yourself assuming the roles of various characters and NPC's

. When you ask someone how many sojs you owe them instead of how
much money...

101. When someone beats you up, you use lag as an excuse!

102. When you go outside and your skin instantly breaks out in a rash
and your eyes burn with the intensity of a hundred super novas

103. When you complain about the game so much but just can't seem to
stop playing it...

104. You mistake Bin Laden for Baal

105. When you bring your copy of the game to weddings and funerals
when your hardcore character dies and you give it a proper burial

106. You walk in and out of the store thinking that each time you
re-enter they will have new items to sell
57. When you go out for walks you're always looking out for armors on
the ground.

107. When you wish there was a "repair all" button at the
mechanic.

108. When you cant even take a piss anymore because your hands DONT
WORK.

109. When you have developed a mighty hump.

110. When you take a trip and get lost, your always looking for a
"way point."

111. When your spouse has a high level character.

112. When your stubble has now become a full blow "grizzly
adams" beard.

113. You kill all your co-workers and are surprised that they didn't
drop anything good, since you had two topaz rings on.

114. You exchange your NRA membership for one those clubs where they
dress up in armor and swing swords at each other all weekend at Bob's
farm.

115. Anytime you see the color gold you get an erection.

116. You're actually sitting there now reading this crap!

117. When you use slow on a zon to see a Diablo 2 version of Bay Watch

118. MUST...KEEP...PLAYING.... IG.NORE.... BAAAAAATH...ROOOOOM!!!!

119. When you break your family's antique jars and pots hoping to find
items

120. When you see road kill and grunt hoping to find an item or potion

121. You know the words "Failed to join game" in a personal
matter

122. When you blink and have a seizure

123. When you keep your CD(s) locked up in an electronic, voice
activated, laser beam guarded safe.

124. When you cant sleep at night because you think 'the dreams' will
return!

125. When the hours go sooo slow when realms are down

126. You've adopted Diablo II as your child

127. When you kill cows on sight you get a lifetime ban from the zoo

128. When you kill someone and try to use redemption to get rid of the
corpse

129. When you name your kids after Diablo II NPC's such as Charsi,
Gheed, Atma, Alkor, Tyreal and Qual-Khek

130. When you memorize what every NPC says

131. When you cut holes in your jacket saying that you are going to
socket it

132. When your friend asks you to come over and you say "TP"

133. When your computer desk has become your home, complete with
furniture, bathroom, appliances, mortgage and every other essential
to a nice house.

134. Your vocabulary is limited to "Help Me!", "Follow
Me", "This is For you", "Thank you", "Forgive
me", "Time to Die!", and "Run Away!"

135. When you have a pile of mouse's to the right of your computer
desk that is 5 ft. tall

136. When your tan is from your computer monitor

137. You actually bought a strategy guide for the game!

138. You ask someone at a sword shop if they have a selection between
the Great Sword, Executioner Sword, or Colossus Blade.

139. When you try to control wild bears and wolves

140. When you step into a hurricane thinking it will damage any nearby
enemies

141. When your skin is so pale people say when you walk down the
street "dear god what is that thing?"

142. Your wardrobe consists of 30 Blizzard shirts

143. When you die, and go to hell, you think you are in Act IV

144. When you finally get up out of the chair and see a 2 ft. deep ass
groove

145. When you have to go to school...you say to your monitor with
tears in your eyes "I'll be back soon...my love"

146. When you wake up and say "what should I wear to work today,
gladiators bane or skullders ire."

147. When you see an old woman and ask her to heal you and see what
she has to sell.

148. When you want to drop out of school and/or quit your job to play
Diablo II.