Solution: Buy new cells phones as they run out of batteries.

Problem: I have to fly on a plane for 10 hours and 20 minutes tomorrow.

Solution: Throw your voice and yell out "HE'S GOT A BOMB!". That should make it interesting.

Problem: My four day weekend is almost up...

Solution: Don't show up for work. The next day show up and tell your boss you thought it was a five day weekend.

Problem: My brother is in Afghanistan :(

Send a nuke over there

Problem: I need to buy a car

Solution: here, let me help.

Problem: I'm bored.

Play tic-tac-toe with a razor and your wrist.

I have no more problems.

Solution: Go on 4chan.

Problem: Why wrist hurts...

Solution: Cut your wrists with a dull knife

Problem: I have to watch my 1-year-old nephew for another half-hour.

Solution: Tie him to a chair.

Problem: My wrist is bleeding, and the only dull knife was rusty.

Solution: Hurry up and die.

Problem: My right arm feels funny. I can hardly lift it without having to actually put effort into it.

Solution: Stop all the masterbation.

Problem: I have a computer virus that's spreading to every place I go.

Solution: Go to www.FBI.gov and submit the file.


Problem: Every time I post a thread with any females in it, WW goes off the deep end.

Solution: stop posting pr0nz.

Problem: I sent a message to the FBI and they believe I may be a registered sex offender.

Solution: Become a registered sex offender. That'll throw them off.

Problem: Constipated.

Solution: Just like any good mathematician, work it out with a pencil.


Problem: It burns when I piss.

Solution: Try using a cuetip.

Problem: I'm being yelled at by the crazy lady next door for sexually harassing her.

Sexually harass her so that she's no longer crazy.


Problem: My xbox has red-ringed.

Solution: Fill the old Xbox case with plastic explosives and mail it to the Microsoft headquarters, they'll be in for a big suprise when your timelapsed package arrives ontime and delivers an explosive ovation.


Problem: Skurai makes my head want to explode.

Solution: Find your local red light district. I'm sure there's a pimp there who can take her off your hands.


Problem: The backup power supply in our computer room keeps emitting a shrill tone.