Somehow...I doubt it...

Well they'll never pick locks if you don't try, silly goose!

On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. Tis a silly place.

You're using coconuts!

So...

She = sober
Me = Sober
Friends = Do nothing
Her ex = Got pissed out of his skull, snorted some cocaine or smoked a lot of weed, got completely wasted, collapsed, unconscious, coughing blood for nearly an hour.

All in all, fun!

You know what woulda been even more fun?!

Dropping him off at a police station and then driving off.

And that wouldn't have been all. Another 3 or 4 people would probably have been nicked too!

These druggies, eh? Deary me. :p

Though I think he should have been taken to hospital. Ah well, he was reportedly walking around being his Cocky self again this morning. The arse.

Hey, I saw a man beat a kitten to death with a shoelace once. FUCKING TOP THAT!

I saw a kitten beat a man to death with his own tongue!

I saw a man beat a kitten to death with his fart!

That wasn't a good one :(.

I watched a group of men put a kitten on a lit grill once.

No joke. A lady ran out of her apartment, grabbed the kitten, and ran back inside. The kitten died later. And the guys went to jail.

People like that need to die.

Life being tortured is much more fun. And they have to stay alive for their full life, in constant pain.

That is much worse than death.

Make them snort wasabi sauce. Every day. Three times a day. Oh yea... awesome.

Put 4 million volts through 'em, and see how far they Voooom!

pffft...

Son, do that in addition to forcing someone to masturbate with tabasco sauce while being forced to watch morbidly obese people porn while having a hamster shoved up his ass. THAT IS TRUE TORTURE.

Or do a Hitler in Hell, and have Pineapples shoved up his anal passage.

Ouch.

Torture for Martha Stewart: Mace up the pussy till it becomes mince meat, make her cook with the end result using second-rate ingredients and utensils, and then force her to eat it. And a beer on the side. No wine.

You're such a girl.