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-   -   World Record Thread (http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=27916)

Lenny 2005-06-01 04:49 AM

You've all heard of the "Yo mama" jokes yes??

How's about this??!:

Roses are red, violets are black, why's Yo mama's chest, as flat as her back?

Roses are red, Yo mom's lips are blue, she sucked off that Smurf and did me up too.

Roses are red, violets are yellow, that guy that just fucked Yo mama is a jolly good fellow.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I gave your mom a dollar and she fucked me too!

Roses are red, Yo mama's a witch, give her a quarter and she'll be your bitch.

Violets are blue, roses are red, please tell Yo mama that she gives some good head.

Roses are red, violets are whack, damn Yo mama smells like ass crack.

I don't mean to be mean, but Yo mama needs Listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole damn bottle.

This is a fact, Yo mama's breath is wack, she needs a Tic, not a Tac, but the whole damn pack.

Roses are red, I'm at the door, Yo mama has a cup saying "Change for the poor."

Roses are red, violets are blue, Yo mama stinks, and so do you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, what Yo mama needs is a good shampoo.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Yo mama asked what's stupid and poor, and I said you.

Roses are red, violets are grey, I hate to say this, but Yo mama is gay.

Roses are red, violets are grey, Yo mama's so ugly, I don't know what to say.

Roses are red, violets are blue, a bitch like Yo mama belongs in a zoo.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Yo mama's breath smells like five day old stew.

One good snap deserves another, so between my legs you'll find your mother.

Why yo mama on my nuts? Would you come and get her please?

Ho keeps sayin' she wants me... And how she love that gov'ment cheese!

I'll smack the bitch if she don't leave with the backside of my hand, smack her ass in to next week, straight in to the promise land!

JRwakebord 2005-06-01 06:41 AM

Saw something about it on the news. But as we all know, America doesn't care about the rest of the world.

Lenny 2005-06-01 06:44 AM

True, but look at the lineup!!!

To be honest, I never thought I'd see a new live aid thingy in my lifetime...

JRwakebord 2005-06-01 06:45 AM

Yah I don't even know who's in it

Lenny 2005-06-01 06:51 AM

OMG I don't believe it!!!
 
Really??!

www.live8live.com

When: Saturday 2nd July, 2005.

Where:

UK – Hyde Park, London

France – Palais de Versailles, Paris

Germany – Brandenberg Gate, Berlin

Italy – Circus Maximus, Rome

USA –Museum of Art, Philadelphia



Hyde Park, London

Mariah Carey
Coldplay
Dido
Keane
Sir Elton John
Annie Lennox
Madonna
Muse
Razorlight
Scissor Sisters
Sir Paul McCartney
Joss Stone
Stereophonics
Sting
Robbie Williams
U2
REM
Velvet Revolver
Bob Geldof
The Killers
The Cure
Snow Patrol

Eiffel Tower, Paris

Jamiroquai
Craig David
Youssou N'Dour
Yannick Noah
Andrea Bocelli
Calo Gero
Kyo
Placebo
Axelle Red
Johnny Halliday
Manu Chao
Renaud

Brandenburg Gate, Berlin

A-ha
Crosby
Stills and Nash
Brian Wilson
Lauryn Hill
Bap
Die Toten Hosen
Peter Maffay

Circus Maximus, Rome

Duran Duran
Faith Hill
Irene Grandi
Jovanotti
Tim McGraw
Nek
Laura Pasini
Vasco Rossi
Zucchero

Museum of Art, Philadelphia

Will Smith (host)
Bon Jovi
Maroon 5
P Diddy
Stevie Wonder
Jay-Z
The Dave Matthews Band
Sarah McLachlan
Rob Thomas
Keith Urban
50 Cent
Kaiser Chiefs

JRwakebord 2005-06-01 06:56 AM

A lot of those don't surprise me, but 50 CENT?? That guy is the most pompous, egotistical, self-centered prick in music. I'm surprisedh he fucking knows that there is a rest of the world, nevermind actually gives a damn. I hate him.

Lenny 2005-06-01 07:19 AM

I'm annoyed that we don't get the Kaiser Chiefs...:(

You are the ones who get the Kaiser Chiefs.

Kaneda 2005-06-01 08:56 AM

On the contrary, it seems that all our President does care about... liberating the rest of the world. Who gives a shit about America right now, we're doing ok for the time being, no need to worry about the future. Ah fuck it, I care but really I shouldn't cause I really don't care about America in general.
Snoop dog supposably beat up fan.

undeadzombieguy 2005-06-01 11:06 AM

Yeah thats funny, I hope someone videotaped it or something. Snoop dog slapping someone with a mic. :haha:

The fan did look pretty beat up though :S

Kaneda 2005-06-02 08:57 AM

It was video taped. I watched it on the news yesterday. The dude came up and grabbed snoops shoulder and looked like he kinda tried to push him forward, then they all just jumped the dude, and started gang beating him.

Kaneda 2005-06-02 08:58 AM

Lenny where exactly do you live?
How easy do you think it would be for someone from here to come over there (as in Amersterdam, or maaybe Italy, I dunno) and just start up a life, get a job, a apt. you know the usual?

Lenny 2005-06-02 10:40 AM

I live in Lancashire in the North West of England. Do you want to know exactly where in Lancashire??

As for how easy it would be, I honestly don't know.

If you're thinking of trying it, then the best place to settle down in would probably be Manchester.

Though Manchester is pretty expensive...house wise...I think...

I'm just guessing here, I really don't know.

Kaneda 2005-06-02 01:29 PM

Hmmm. No I don't really care where in Lancashire. Just wondering.
Do you guys have yearly taxes? Like a tax day?

Lenny 2005-06-02 02:17 PM

Taxes at the end of every month.

Tax day??! He he he...what a weird concept...

I think we just get the tax taken out of our bank accounts. Either that or we pay it when we pay for the bills. I've still got a few years before becoming a tax payer so I don't know for sure.

It might say on a site somewhere.

Are you seriously thinking of coming over here??

undeadzombieguy 2005-06-02 02:25 PM

I think you can choose to pay for it automatically or do it with a manual transfer fill, at least thats how it's done here.

What exactly is tax day, like pay all taxes at once? Cause that would be a pretty big number eh?

Lenny 2005-06-02 02:31 PM

Must be one of those crazy American ideas...:p

Unlike our European ideas...

You're from Holland right?? I can never remember where people are from...:p

undeadzombieguy 2005-06-02 02:39 PM

Yes, yes I am.

Lenny 2005-06-02 02:41 PM

I got it right!!

And if my brain is working in top gear, you lot have just had your referendum on the EU constitution haven't you??

undeadzombieguy 2005-06-02 02:50 PM

Yup, and we voted against, which sucks, because now we're like France. :(

It believe it was 63% against which is pretty big.

Lenny 2005-06-02 02:54 PM

A resounding 62% to 38%...I've got the paper in front of me.

I love you guys!!! This has got to be good!! Unless you want to be ruled by Brussels...


"What now for Europe?" says the front page. "Was noo ve Europa?" is it in Dutch?? There's a load of foreign ways of saying "Waht now for Europe?". I think that's the Dutch one...yah??


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