Somehow...I doubt it...

Well they'll never pick locks if you don't try, silly goose!

On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. Tis a silly place.

You're using coconuts!

So...

She = sober
Me = Sober
Friends = Do nothing
Her ex = Got pissed out of his skull, snorted some cocaine or smoked a lot of weed, got completely wasted, collapsed, unconscious, coughing blood for nearly an hour.

All in all, fun!

You know what woulda been even more fun?!

Dropping him off at a police station and then driving off.

And that wouldn't have been all. Another 3 or 4 people would probably have been nicked too!

These druggies, eh? Deary me. :p

Though I think he should have been taken to hospital. Ah well, he was reportedly walking around being his Cocky self again this morning. The arse.

Hey, I saw a man beat a kitten to death with a shoelace once. FUCKING TOP THAT!

I saw a kitten beat a man to death with his own tongue!

I saw a man beat a kitten to death with his fart!

That wasn't a good one :(.

I watched a group of men put a kitten on a lit grill once.

No joke. A lady ran out of her apartment, grabbed the kitten, and ran back inside. The kitten died later. And the guys went to jail.

People like that need to die.

Life being tortured is much more fun. And they have to stay alive for their full life, in constant pain.

That is much worse than death.

Make them snort wasabi sauce. Every day. Three times a day. Oh yea... awesome.

Put 4 million volts through 'em, and see how far they Voooom!

pffft...

Son, do that in addition to forcing someone to masturbate with tabasco sauce while being forced to watch morbidly obese people porn while having a hamster shoved up his ass. THAT IS TRUE TORTURE.

Or do a Hitler in Hell, and have Pineapples shoved up his anal passage.

Ouch.

Torture for Martha Stewart: Mace up the pussy till it becomes mince meat, make her cook with the end result using second-rate ingredients and utensils, and then force her to eat it. And a beer on the side. No wine.

You're such a girl.

Stop ruining my WRT fun.

Martha who now?

Ah balls...

Right, this is getting really annoying.

9th April, we're supposedly in Spring now.

AND IT'S SNOWING!! Yesterday we had 2 inches of the bloddy stuff...now we've got giant flakes a fluttering down on the breeze. And it's nearlt 6C outside!!

Stupid...

We're having a mini-ice age. Yellowstone's super volcanoe erupted.

If yellowstone erupts, im taking london down with me.

Dont worry, the whole world will be doomed.

69 degrees F here. Heh.

*cackle*

*chokes*

And today, we've just hit 12C, and the Sun is shining, the grass is green, the lamb is jumping up and down and the big sheep are copying it...and my Cactus has just spruoted some pretty pink flowers.

I think someone up high is playing Silly Buggers with us.

Then again, British Weather. What can I say?

The same has been happening here. 80F one day then in the 30's the next day's night. Global warming is the culprit!

1000 bottles of beer on the wall, 1000 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, 999 bottles of beer on the wall.

999 bottles of beer on the wall, 999 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, 998 bottles of beer on the wall.

998 bottles of beer on the wall, 998 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, 997 bottles of beer on the wall.

997 bottles of beer on the wall, 997 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, 996 bottles of beer on the wall.

996 bottles of beer on the wall, 996 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, 995 bottles of beer on the wall.

995 bottles of beer on the wall, 995 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, 994 bottles of beer on the wall.

994 bottles of beer on the wall, 994 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, 993 bottles of beer on the wall.

993 bottles of beer on the wall, 993 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, 992 bottles of beer on the wall.

992 bottles of beer on the wall, 992 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, 991 bottles of beer on the wall.